GlassMan
Pisces
HDF Silver Supporter
Redondo Crew
  
Redondo Beach, California, USA
Posts: 5,761
APPD 0.73
Post Rank: 13
|
 |
Posted: Jan. 13 2005,10:36 am |
Post # 3 |
   |
You mean like this?.........
Feeling a little stressed out today?Maybe you need someone to talk to!CALL OUR FREE PSYCHO HOTLINE NOW! Here is what you'll hear when you call:
If you are Obsessive-Compulsive,
please press 1 exactly 4 times.
You will be told you didn't do it quite right. When you finally get it exactly right, we may help you develop and perfect a new compulsion.
If you are Co-Dependent,
please ask someone to press 2 for you.
We will then help your partner find better ways to manipulate you more effectively.
If you have Multiple Personalities,
please press 3, 4, and 5.
We will hypnotize you and help you recover repressed abuse memories, and then refer you to an attorney who believes in that stuff so you can sue your abuser(s).
If you have Schizophrenia, listen carefully and a small, quiet voice will tell you which number to press.
When you get it right, hang up and wait for the answer to come in code over the radio.
If you have Manic-Depressive (Bipolar) Disorder, press 6 and sometimes a wild man will try to sell you Golden Gate Bridge, while other times a lady will answer and say she is too depressed to talk with you now.
If you have Paranoid Delusions, we know who you are and what you want.
Just stay on the line so we can finish tracing the call.
If you have Attention Deficit Disorder, press any numbers you can in rapid sequence.
It won't matter what the response is since you wouldn't remember it anyway.
If you have Tourette Syndrome, press 8.
The person responding will scream "Gaak! Twirk! Eep, eep! !@##! You, **=+#!"
Thank you for calling the PSYCHO HOTLINE!
It's a fact of Life:
After Monday and Tuesday, even the Calendar says : WTF .......
|
12-16-2025 Gas price in your area (Rep.#7,376) from: GoFastRacer
