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big ernMale Offline
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mesa, az
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Post Icon Posted: July 21 2005,8:40 am Post # 1 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

WORLD WAR III IS COMING
> >
> > President Bush and Rumsfeld are sitting in a
> > bar.
> > A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that
> > Bush and Rumsfeld sitting over there?"
> > The bartender says, "Yep, that's them."
> >
> > So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a
> > real honor! . What are you guys doing in here?"
> > Bush says, "We're planning WW III."
> > And the guy says, "Really? What's going to
> > happen?"
> >
> > Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140
> > million
> > Muslims and one blonde with big tits."
> > The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why
> > kill a blonde with big tits?"
> >
> > Bush turns to Rumsfeld and says, "See, I told
> > you
> > no one CARES about the 140 million Muslims". :good
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LASINCMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: July 21 2005,11:25 am Post # 2 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

:good
I like it!
I like it!
:rotflmao  :rotflmao
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| Member # 1456 | Joined: 5-24-2005 |
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Post Icon Posted: July 21 2005,3:52 pm Post # 3 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at three in the morning, at which time he is extremely drunk. After leaving the bar, he returns home on foot.

When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs though, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his back.

That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke; the broken glass carved up his back terribly. Yet, he was so drunk that he didn't know he was hurt.

A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up terribly. He then repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to bed.
The next morning, his head was hurting, his back was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom.

"Well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "Where'd you go?"

"I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers."

"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied. "You got plastered last night. Where did you go?"

"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?"

"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror."


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I've Reached The Age Where Happy Hour Is A Nap!!

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