HD Forums - Topic - Friday Funny

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big ern

Libra
HDF Supporter

Boater

mesa, az
Posts: 165
APPD 0.02
Post Rank: 119
82 19ft eliminator

Posted: July 22 2005,6:27 am

Post # 1

There was this man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved to play guitar and a lot of things that took two arms.

One day he had had it. He decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw this man didn't have any arms at all. He started thinking. what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life.

He hurried down and caught the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly and useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for saving his life and he new he could make it with one arm if that guy could on with no arms. The man with no arms began dancing and whistling and kicking up his heels again.

He asked "Why are you so happy anyway? "

He said "I'm NOT happy; my ass itches."

| Member # 759 | Joined: 8-02-2004 |

bigblockbill Male

Boatless

Albuquerque, NM
Posts: 24
APPD 0.00
Post Rank: 237
24' Elim Fun Deck

Posted: July 22 2005,7:10 am

Post # 2

How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?

10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, 1 beaver, an unknown number of hares and a fish that no one can find!!!

Liven in the land of no water

| Member # 1215 | Joined: 3-21-2005 |

Carrera Elite Male

Libra
HDF Supporter

Glendale,AZ
Posts: 44,127
APPD 5.24
Post Rank: 2
1990 Carrera 23.5 Classic

Posted: July 22 2005,8:16 am

Post # 3

An old Priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery.
During one Sunday's sermon he told them, "If one more person confesses to adultery, I'll quit!"

Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: "fallen." From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had "fallen".

This satisfied the old Priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine for years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93.

Shortly after the new young Priest settled in, he paid a call on the Mayor. The Priest was quite concerned. "You have to do something about the sidewalks in this town, Mayor. You can't believe how many people come into the confessional talking about having fallen!"

The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had explained their code word to the new Priest.

But before the Mayor could explain, the Priest shook his finger at the Mayor and said -
"I don't know why you're laughing, your wife fell three times last week!"

Sarcasim, Just one more thing that I offer for free!!
I've Reached The Age Where Happy Hour Is A Nap!!

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