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tunamaster
Pisces
Boat Racer
Lakewood, California
Posts: 523
APPD 0.07
Post Rank: 60
1995 Commander SS open bow 454 j
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Posted: July 25 2005,1:27 pm |
Post # 1 |
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I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past two years. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Because of your concern...
I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually
Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
troops.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls
to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my kidneys
and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has
been dying for the past seven years.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in
their special e-mail program
I will now return the favor.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60
seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00 PM
and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits. I know this
will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a
friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer.
Every man bleeds, just like me.
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| Member # 516 | Joined: 3-08-2004 | |
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My Man's Sportin' Wood
Capricorn
HDF Supporter
Hallett Hottie
Flathead Lake Montana/Lake Havasu City
Posts: 3,500
APPD 0.43
Post Rank: 20
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Posted: July 25 2005,4:57 pm |
Post # 4 |
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You forgot that we can't let our kids play in the fast food playgrounds anymore because the baby rattlesnakes like to hide there.
Gawd I hate those things. Â My biggest pet peeves are the GD "friendship" ones. Â "What is a friend?" crapola. Â Then at the end of the sweet poem your "friend" sends you, it says if you send it to 1 person you'll have good monetary luck in a year, 5 friends = six months, and so on. Â BUT if you don't send it to anyone, you'll die a thousand horrible deaths after you watch your children do the same. Thanks, friend! Â  Â Â Â Who would send that to someone? Â
LOL, that's what I'm going to reply next time. Â "Why would you send me something like this???" Â Maybe they'll get the hint. Â 
Edited by My Man's Sportin' Wood on July 25 2005,4:58 pm
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| Member # 250 | Joined: 10-17-2003 | |
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