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Home » HD Forums » Forums » Open Topic Forum » Cancer :(
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MrCordMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,8:27 am Post # 1 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
OK this may not be the right place but I need help/info...

I recently found out that my mom has lung cancer that has spread to her brain and some other parts of her body.  She started chemo on tuesday and is still feeling pretty good but I have heard it gets worse.

I am interested in any advise for taking care of someone in this position, any special foods to make, little tricks, ANYTHING, etc...  Its mom! (And she lives alone)

This is sorta a shock to me but I want to learn everything I can to help her through this...  I have been researching the internet but sometimes people can give you better real world info.  

Thank you in advance for anyone that can empart some knowledge!

Never Trust Anyone That Talks Too Fast.... They are hoping you miss something!
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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,8:34 am Post # 2 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Sorry to hear this McCord...  :(

Check with you local Hospice.  While hopefully you won't have to use their services, they will probably have some suggestions on how to handle the side effects of the chemo and the cancer.  Good luck.

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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,8:46 am Post # 3 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Wow That sucks. Lung cancer is a tough battle from what I've heard. I deal with Skin Cancer myself but I caught it early and seem to have it under control for now. I went on a few forums trying to get information when I first got told about it. Not the most cheerful places but lots of info.

Good luck to your Mom :good

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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,8:56 am Post # 4 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Thanks guys  :good

I hear its gunna suck, but I wana try to make it suck less for her!  

I just got her covered on the wigs.  Stocked up on snacky food.  Got her all the knit caps and such, and cumfy clothes.  

But I dont know the process of Chemo, which is what makes me nervous.  I hear that the Day of Chemo isnt bad, but the next couple are. Neways some info from someone that has gone through it would be really great!  

Again Thanks!!!

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AZKCMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,9:50 am Post # 5 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
One of freinds Mom had it and unfortunately it was diagnoised as terminal so they set her up at their house with a comfy bed and some of her favorite stuff. And she stayed with them instead of a Hospice.

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MrCordMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,9:55 am Post # 6 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
I hate to ask this..  But she is sorta in the same boat (Since it has spread all over)...  

How long did it take?

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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,10:13 am Post # 7 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (AZKC @ Nov. 07 2005,9:50 am)
One of freinds Mom had it and unfortunately it was diagnoised as terminal so they set her up at their house with a comfy bed and some of her favorite stuff. And she stayed with them instead of a Hospice.

Are you sure it wasn't in-home Hospice???   :stupid

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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,10:18 am Post # 8 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
I think they had a nurse that came by, but from what I remember they did most everything including the meds. What exactly is in home Hospice?

God is Great, Beer is Good, and People are Crazy......

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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,10:19 am Post # 9 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (AZKC @ Nov. 07 2005,10:18 am)
I think they had a nurse that came by, but from what I remember they did most everything including the meds. What exactly is in home Hospice?

Pretty much what you just said.  My mom was a Hospice nurse for several years.

A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his.
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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,11:39 am Post # 10 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (Sleek-Jet @ Nov. 07 2005,10:13 am)
Quote (AZKC @ Nov. 07 2005,9:50 am)
One of freinds Mom had it and unfortunately it was diagnoised as terminal so they set her up at their house with a comfy bed and some of her favorite stuff. And she stayed with them instead of a Hospice.

Are you sure it wasn't in-home Hospice???   :stupid

I am now sure it was in home Hospice :comp

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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,12:14 pm Post # 11 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Can't give any advise other than comfort her and give her love. My Father-in-Law had in-home hospice, they were great to have around.
My families prayers to you and your family...... :)

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The Love of my Life, Jan.
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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,2:35 pm Post # 12 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Thanks all :)

I guess I will just learn and do my best as I go!  

All of your good thoughts and prayers are appreciated
:beer

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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,2:49 pm Post # 13 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
I'm very sorry to hear the news McCord, make her as comfortable as possible, that will go a long, long way. You asked in a previous post how long it took, my Grandmother was diagnosed with Lung Cancer that had spread to her other organs, she never came home form the hospital, my Mom made sure that she had a pretty constant morphine drip just so she wouldn't be in a great deal of pain, we unfortunately lost her 3 weeks to the day that she was admitted. We made sure that she was always dressed in her best silk pajamas and had lots of pretty flowers to look at when she was coherent, we wanted to make sure that she was comfortable and that she wasn't looking at a dreary Hospital room, I know in my heart that it made her last days with us better.

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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,3:08 pm Post # 14 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Im sorry to hear that :(  But it sounds like you did all that you could...

I really dont know at this point the true severity, but from what I know.  It is in the lungs (multiple tumors), brain (Multiple tumors), lymphatic system, but not the bones...  But they found out on thursday and she was on Chemo on tuesday... I cant get a straigh answer out of her, but I think she is just trying to save me.  

It just occurs to me that many of the questions that should have a definate answer, Im getting "I dont know"?  Now its that cuz we dont wana know, or someone is dropping the ball here?

P.S. Please forgive me for creating a downer post, but I am really truely trying to get any info that I can!

Edited by MrCord on Nov. 07 2005,3:12 pm

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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,3:24 pm Post # 15 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Sorry to hear the news.  Many of us have faced similiar ordeals... :(

Give her all the comfort you can, and quality time.  Go with her to the treatments and be observant.  Talk with the other families, etc....Be strong for her as she needs you the most right now.

Thoughts and prayers go out....
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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,4:44 pm Post # 16 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
I am so sorry to hear the bad news.

Maybe try and get info from some place like the City of Hope??????

A support group, find other people who
have gone through cancer?

I have open ears and a friendly heart, so if you need to talk to someone you can always pm me.

I wish you both all the luck in the world, my prayers are with you both!

Btw, how old is she?

Silver

Edited by Silver on Nov. 07 2005,4:45 pm

It's a whole new year!

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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,5:58 pm Post # 17 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (Silver @ Nov. 07 2005,4:44 pm)
I am so sorry to hear the bad news.

Maybe try and get info from some place like the City of Hope??????

A support group, find other people who
have gone through cancer?

I have open ears and a friendly heart, so if you need to talk to someone you can always pm me.

I wish you both all the luck in the world, my prayers are with you both!

Btw, how old is she?

Silver

She is 59...  Shitty thing is she never smoked a day in her life and she has lung cancer :(  I smoked for 10 years straight until last week.  Easiest quittin I have ever had to do!

Your offer is appreciated, Im holdin up good though... I just want to know more..  And I want to know if she is frontin for my sake or if there is actually a chance. (I am basically the only family she has)

Edited by MrCord on Nov. 07 2005,5:59 pm

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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,7:01 pm Post # 18 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
So very sorry to hear that, best of luck thoughts and prayers go out to both of you!.. :(  :cry
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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,8:07 pm Post # 19 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
I'm sorry to hear this about your mom. :(  I hope it all works out for her...... And yourself.

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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,8:46 pm Post # 20 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
sorry to hear that I lost my mom to breast cancer in the 80s and my dad died 2 years ago he had lung cancer from smoking but his heart gave up first. take it from me enjoy the time you have with her cause you wount be able to later :(

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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 07 2005,10:28 pm Post # 21 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
sorry to hear about your mom, our thoughts are with you. my nieghbor is 78 and about 5 years he was diagnosed with colon cancer, he knew and hid it from his wife for two years before starting treatment. total of seven years, he has a colostame bag and they found and removed spots from his liver.but it has spread to his lungs,the second and third days seemed to be the worst for him, he would come home from treatments and get as much done as possible. he knew he would be down for near a week. he always carries "kerns" fruit juices and candy bars. it my be a personal favorite.


BTW he still works 10 hr. days running his cabinet shop, hopefully a little bit of a positive note.

thoughts and prayers out to you and yours :beer

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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 08 2005,11:23 am Post # 22 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Mr. Cord...Im going through the same with my younger brother. He was diagnosed with Lymphoma...he is in Stage 3 cancer.

Here is the latest update I sent out...

I saw my brother today...his hair is falling out...hes skinny..pale...and still cant hold anything down. He will be getting his second dose of Chemo tonite..and I will see him again tomorrow.

They dont want to send him home until he can eat without throwing up. His insurance is asking his doctors why he is in the hospital this long..so they might send him home soon...if he goes home he will have to have a home nurse. If a home nurse cant manage his nutrition through IV's then he will have to go to a nursing home. For now the insurance is covering his hospital stay...but that will end at some point.

He is dying to go home...he misses his dogs...and they miss him and Liz...they of course have no idea why they are home alone all day every day. Liz doesnt leave my brothers side...she goes home to take a shower and feed the dogs..then goes back to the hospital. She has to go back to work on Monday though.

I cant imagine the thought of my brother in a nursing home. Doing what I do for a living I have an inside look at how poorly ran they are.

We are praying that he can just go home with a nurse...we think this would be the best thing for his health.

It really sucks to see my brother go through this...whenever I leave the hospital I have flashbacks of when we were kids.

Please  keep your prayers coming...we need them!

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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 08 2005,12:13 pm Post # 23 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (Windy @ Nov. 08 2005,11:23 am)
Mr. Cord...Im going through the same with my younger brother. He was diagnosed with Lymphoma...he is in Stage 3 cancer.

Here is the latest update I sent out...

I saw my brother today...his hair is falling out...hes skinny..pale...and still cant hold anything down. He will be getting his second dose of Chemo tonite..and I will see him again tomorrow.

They dont want to send him home until he can eat without throwing up. His insurance is asking his doctors why he is in the hospital this long..so they might send him home soon...if he goes home he will have to have a home nurse. If a home nurse cant manage his nutrition through IV's then he will have to go to a nursing home. For now the insurance is covering his hospital stay...but that will end at some point.

He is dying to go home...he misses his dogs...and they miss him and Liz...they of course have no idea why they are home alone all day every day. Liz doesnt leave my brothers side...she goes home to take a shower and feed the dogs..then goes back to the hospital. She has to go back to work on Monday though.

I cant imagine the thought of my brother in a nursing home. Doing what I do for a living I have an inside look at how poorly ran they are.

We are praying that he can just go home with a nurse...we think this would be the best thing for his health.

It really sucks to see my brother go through this...whenever I leave the hospital I have flashbacks of when we were kids.

Please  keep your prayers coming...we need them!

Windy...

I am very sorry to hear you are going through the same thing :(  Actually it sounds like your brother is holding up worse :(

I can share what I have learned so far which isnt much.. But I hope it helps, even if just a little.

1. For some reason GingerAle really calms the stomach.  I spoke with a couple people at the chemo center.  And they were carrying it around, and drinking it like it was going out of style.

2. As for food. I have tried everything... But pot roast has worked the best so far.  Its light but has a little meat, but the potatos I think are the tolerable part.  

3. String Cheese has become a favorite!

4. Umm... Unfortunatly thats about it...  Except for pitty calls piss my mom off...  But calls from real friends are good with her to a point.  She is fearcely private so that might be a major factor.  

Finally, does he have a PPO or HMO... The only reason that I ask is because on Chemo day... The first hour is just anti-nausea meds... Then they follow up with more of them...  And she has some at home that seem to be working pretty good.  I just want to make sure that they are offering him everything that he needs, cuz I know HMO's can be shady  :fight  :flamed

Either way... My best wishes/and prayers go out to you, your brother, and your family!!!!!!!!!  

Good luck and hang in there!

Edited by MrCord on Nov. 08 2005,12:20 pm

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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 08 2005,12:55 pm Post # 24 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Mr. Cord...my brother was dealing with nausea and vomiting before his diagnosis...he lost 12 lbs before being diagnosed. He thinks its the tumers causing his nausea...yet the doctors cant release him if he cant eat on his own.

He has been in the hospital since September...this is why his insurance is asking questions. He has a PPO...and so far they been great. He has two excellent doctors that are taking care of him.

They are giving him anti nausea meds through his IVs...He's been trying to eat small amounts of food, but cant seem to hold anything down. I will take him some ginger ale and see if that helps.

He will have 6 mo of Chemo...

I have found www.webmd.com to be the most useful website with dealing with cancer.

I wish your mom the best...I know exactly what you are going through.

~Wear a smile...it never goes outta style~
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Post Icon Posted: Nov. 08 2005,2:00 pm Post # 25 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Thanks :) I have been checking out that site allot!

Good luck!  And I hope the chemo does its job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never Trust Anyone That Talks Too Fast.... They are hoping you miss something!
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