No members are browsing this topic
|
|
Carrera Elite
Libra
HDF Supporter
  
Glendale,AZ
Posts: 44,127
APPD 5.24
Post Rank: 2
1990 Carrera 23.5 Classic
|
 |
Posted: Nov. 22 2005,10:40 am |
Post # 1 |
   |
These are ACTUAL Manager quotes taken from employee performance appraisals.
1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this employee to breed.
3. This employee is really not much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be.
4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap
5. When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet.
6. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
7. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
8. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
9. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of ann idiot.
10. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.
11. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
12. A gross ignoramus ie 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
13. He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.
14. I would like to go hunting with him sometime.
15. He's been working with glue too much.
16. He would argue with a signpost.
17. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
18. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
19. If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
20. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
21. A prime candidate for natural DE-selection.
22. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
23. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
24. He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it
25. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
26. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
27. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
28. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
29. One neuron short of a synapse.
30. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
31. Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Sarcasim, Just one more thing that I offer for free!! I've Reached The Age Where Happy Hour Is A Nap!! WWW.StormPokerRuns.Com  |
| Back to top |
|
| Member # 8 | Joined: 12-04-2002 | |
|
|
Carrera Elite
Libra
HDF Supporter
Glendale,AZ
Posts: 44,127
APPD 5.24
Post Rank: 2
1990 Carrera 23.5 Classic
|
|
Posted: Nov. 22 2005,1:41 pm |
Post # 5 |
|
Top 17 Fatal Things To Say If Your Wife Is Pregnant:
17. "I finished the Oreos."
16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds."
15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!"
14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't going to stay that flabby forever!"
13. "Well, could they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."
12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's got to hurt."
10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"
9. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"
8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
7. "Get your own ice cream."
6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."
5. "Got milk?"
4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."
3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water..."
1. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger..."
Sarcasim, Just one more thing that I offer for free!! I've Reached The Age Where Happy Hour Is A Nap!! WWW.StormPokerRuns.Com |
| Back to top |
|
| Member # 8 | Joined: 12-04-2002 | |
|
|
porzman
Capricorn
Pwc'er
High Desert CA
Posts: 96
APPD 0.01
Post Rank: 141
21' closed bow Advantage and
|
|
Posted: Nov. 22 2005,4:18 pm |
Post # 6 |
|
| Quote (Carrera Elite @ Nov. 22 2005,10:40 am) | These are ACTUAL Manager quotes taken from employee performance appraisals.
1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this employee to breed.
3. This employee is really not much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be.
4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap
5. When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet.
6. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
7. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
8. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
9. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of ann idiot.
10. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.
11. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
12. A gross ignoramus ie 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
13. He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.
14. I would like to go hunting with him sometime.
15. He's been working with glue too much.
16. He would argue with a signpost.
17. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
18. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
19. If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
20. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
21. A prime candidate for natural DE-selection.
22. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
23. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
24. He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it
25. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
26. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
27. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
28. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
29. One neuron short of a synapse.
30. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
31. Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes |
Thanks for the Help I'm doing my 2005 sales people's evaluations as we speak.
|
| Back to top |
|
| Member # 1498 | Joined: 6-13-2005 | |
|
|
GoFastRacer
HDF Supporter
V-Driver For Life!
Big River, Ca
Posts: 63,133
APPD 7.58
Post Rank: 1
Spectra20
|
 |
Posted: Nov. 22 2005,8:29 pm |
Post # 7 |
|
Those are too funny!..    
|
| Back to top |
 |
| Member # 101 | Joined: 3-03-2003 | |
|
|
Carrera Elite
Libra
HDF Supporter
Glendale,AZ
Posts: 44,127
APPD 5.24
Post Rank: 2
1990 Carrera 23.5 Classic
|
|
Posted: Nov. 23 2005,8:24 am |
Post # 8 |
|
USEFUL PHRASES AT WORK:
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
No, my powers can only be used for good.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me
You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
Who me? I just wander from room to room.
My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
Sarcasim, Just one more thing that I offer for free!! I've Reached The Age Where Happy Hour Is A Nap!! WWW.StormPokerRuns.Com |
| Back to top |
|
| Member # 8 | Joined: 12-04-2002 | |
|
|
Bullitt Bob
Taurus
HDF Supporter
    Truckin' Bozo
Mesquite, NV.
Posts: 3,229
APPD 0.41
Post Rank: 21
Eliminator Jet
|
|
Posted: June 18 2006,12:04 pm |
Post # 9 |
|
| Quote (Carrera Elite @ Nov. 22 2005,10:40 am) | | A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on. |
I'm pretty sure this guy used to work for me.
|
| Back to top |
|
| Member # 632 | Joined: 5-11-2004 | |
|
|
Please help keep HDF free. If you
enjoy this site, feel free to make a donation to keep it running. THANKS!
12-25-2025 Three Word Post.....The Next Generation.... (Rep.#20,039) from: BigDog
