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AZKCMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Jan. 13 2006,6:07 pm Post # 1 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote from Hollywood Squares

Host..... "When a man falls overboard you scream, Man overboard!!  When a woman falls overboard what do you yell?"











Paul......."Full speed ahead!!"

God is Great, Beer is Good, and People are Crazy......

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AZKCMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Jan. 13 2006,6:08 pm Post # 2 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
I miss the 70's :rotflmao

God is Great, Beer is Good, and People are Crazy......

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My Man's Sportin' WoodFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Jan. 13 2006,7:24 pm Post # 3 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
He did come up with some good ones.  I was too young to get most of them, but I remember that he was funny.
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Post Icon Posted: Jan. 13 2006,7:25 pm Post # 4 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply


Found some more gems:

Peter Marshall:  If the right part comes along, will George C. Scott do a nude scene?
Paul Lynde:  You mean he doesn't have the right part?  

Peter Marshall: Will a goose help warn you if there's an intruder on your property?
Paul Lynde: There's no better way!  

Peter Marshall: In "Alice in Wonderland", who kept crying "I'm late, I'm late?"
Paul Lynde: Alice, and her mother is sick about it.  

Peter Marshall: According to Tony Randall, "Every woman I've been intimate with in my life has been..." What?
Paul Lynde: Bitterly disappointed.  

Peter Marshall: Diamonds should not be kept with your family jewels, why?
Paul Lynde: They're so cold!  

Peter Marshall: What is a pullet?
Paul Lynde: A little show of affection...  

Peter Marshall: In the Middle Ages, Paul, people in convents were not allowed to eat beans because they believed something about them we now know isn't true.  What?
Paul Lynde: Well, I know they took a vow of silence...      

Peter Marshall: Paul, Snow White...was she a blonde or a brunette?
Paul Lynde: Only Walt Disney knows for sure...    

Peter Marshall: Promethius was tied to the top of a mountain by the gods because he had given something to man.  What did he give us?
Paul Lynde: I don't know what you got, but I got a sports shirt.  

Peter Marshall: When Richard Nixon was Vice-President, he went someplace on a "good will mission," but instead wound up being stoned and shouted at. Where did this take place?
Paul Lynde: Pat's room .  

Peter Marshall: True or false, cow's horns are used to make ice cream.
Paul Lynde: You mean those weren't chocolate chips?  

(I know these next two are already quoted to death but I just couldn't resist)
Peter Marshall: What are "dual purpose"cattle good for that other cattle aren't?
Paul Lynde: They give milk and cookies...but I don't recommend the cookies!  

Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.  

Peter Marshall: True or false...research indicates that Columbus liked to wear bloomers and long stockings.
Paul Lynde: It's not easy to sign a crew up for six months...    

Peter Marshall: Whose motto is "Do Your Best"?
Paul Lynde: I guess we can rule out Jimmy Carter...  

Peter Marshall: According to the French Chef, Julia Child, how much is a pinch?
Paul Lynde: Just enough to turn her on...    

Peter Marshall: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.  One is politics.  What is the other?
Paul Lynde: Tape measures.  

Peter Marshall: True or false, the navy has trained whales to recover objects a mile deep.
Paul Lynde: At first they tried unsuccessfully with cocker spaniels...  

Peter Marshall: It used to be called "9-pin." What's it called today?
Paul Lynde: Foreplay!  

Peter Marshall: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail.  What will a goose do?
Paul Lynde: Make him bark.  

Peter Marshall: Paul, in the early days of Hollywood,  who was usually found atop Tony, the Wonder Horse?
Paul Lynde: My Friend Flicka.  

Peter Marshall: During the War of 1812, Captain Oliver Perry made the famous statement, "We have met the enemy and..." What?
Paul Lynde: They are cute.    

Peter Marshall: Burt Reynolds is quoted as saying, "Dinah (Shore)'s in top form.  I've never known anyone to be so completely able to throw herself into a..." A what?
Paul Lynde: A headboard.

Edited by My Man's Sportin' Wood on Jan. 13 2006,7:28 pm
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Post Icon Posted: Jan. 13 2006,7:44 pm Post # 5 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Paul Lynde is defiantly one of the king's of the one liners. Not only was he on the Hollywood Squares but was on Laugh In quite often.   :good    


Man I think I just aged mtself.  :eek   :laugh
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Post Icon Posted: Jan. 13 2006,11:43 pm Post # 6 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
You guys crack me up!!   I have no idea who he is/was but that picture screams amphetamines, so of course I would like him!!!   Keep em coming!!!! :jumpie



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Post Icon Posted: Jan. 14 2006,4:47 am Post # 7 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
He was one of the better ones!.. :good
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Post Icon Posted: Jan. 14 2006,8:06 am Post # 8 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Peter Marshall: Paul, Snow White...was she a blonde or a brunette?
Paul Lynde: Only Walt Disney knows for sure...    
:good  :rotflmao  :rotflmao  R.I.P.
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Post Icon Posted: Jan. 14 2006,9:19 am Post # 9 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (My Man's Sportin' Wood @ Jan. 13 2006,7:25 pm)
Found some more gems:

Peter Marshall: Burt Reynolds is quoted as saying, "Dinah (Shore)'s in top form.  I've never known anyone to be so completely able to throw herself into a..." A what?
Paul Lynde: A headboard.

:rotflmao  :good

Paul Lynde was the best screwy relative of Samantha on "Bewitched" as her Uncle Arthur.



I found a couple more of his Hollywood Squares barbs;

Peter Marshall: In one state, you can deduct $5 from a traffic ticket if you show the officer...what?
Paul Lynde: A ten dollar bill.

Peter Marshall: It's well known that small amounts of female hormones are found in the male body.  Are male hormones ever found in the female body?
Paul Lynde: Occasionally.

Peter Marshall: In the "Wizard of Oz," the Lion wanted courage and the Tin Man wanted a heart. What did the Scarecrow want?
Paul Lynde: He wanted the Tin Man to notice him.

Peter Marshall: What should you do if you're going 55 miles per hour and your tires suddenly blow out?
Paul Lynde: Honk if you believe in Jesus.

Peter Marshall:  Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?
Paul Lynde: Yes, but he still won't go up to your apartment.

Peter Marshall: What do you call a man who gives you diamonds and pearls?
Paul Lynde: I'd call him "darling"!

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Post Icon Posted: Jan. 14 2006,10:49 am Post # 10 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (My Man's Sportin' Wood @ Jan. 13 2006,7:25 pm)
Peter Marshall: Burt Reynolds is quoted as saying, "Dinah (Shore)'s in top form.  I've never known anyone to be so completely able to throw herself into a..." A what?
Paul Lynde: A headboard.

She was sexy  :love  :kiss

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Post Icon Posted: Jan. 14 2006,11:02 am Post # 11 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (Fragile Magic @ Jan. 13 2006,11:43 pm)
You guys crack me up!!   I have no idea who he is/was but that picture screams amphetamines, so of course I would like him!!!   Keep em coming!!!! :jumpie

I don't think it was amphetimines (though it could have been) but he was an open flamer.  
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Post Icon Posted: Jan. 14 2006,3:28 pm Post # 12 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (My Man's Sportin' Wood @ Jan. 14 2006,11:02 am)
Quote (Fragile Magic @ Jan. 13 2006,11:43 pm)
You guys crack me up!!   I have no idea who he is/was but that picture screams amphetamines, so of course I would like him!!!   Keep em coming!!!! :jumpie

I don't think it was amphetimines (though it could have been) but he was an open flamer.  


Not that there's anything wrong with that......... :eek

I think I do remember him now from Bewitched, but I never watched Hollywood Squares......He was damn funny on Bewitched, so I can only imagine how funny he was with the one liners on the Squares........He do anything else???

FM

Edited by Fragile Magic on Jan. 14 2006,3:30 pm



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GoFastRacerMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Jan. 15 2006,7:17 am Post # 13 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (Fragile Magic @ Jan. 14 2006,4:28 pm)
He do anything else???

FM

Yeah a couple of things!.. :D  :good

Paul Lynde!
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AZKCMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: Jan. 17 2006,9:18 am Post # 14 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Peter Marshall: Diamonds should not be kept with your family jewels, why?

Paul Lynde: They're so cold!  


:eek  :eek

:rotflmao

God is Great, Beer is Good, and People are Crazy......

AUTO SAFETY HOUSE

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