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Trailer Park CasanovaMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: May 10 2006,6:00 pm Post # 1 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Jenny is a single mom that lives with her two teriffic kids.
She struggles to get by and asks if we'd loan her $1500.

I really don't think she could easily pay it back,, so I told the wife let's just give it to her.
The wife said if we do, she'll ask for more, and to just let it go.

People usually know better than to ask me for money. If the bank won't loan it, and they'll loan to anyone,, I sure as hell won't.
I try to associate with friends that don't have money problems.

But Jenny, a sweet mom, awsum friend - doesn't drink or do drugs, thrifty and doesn't waist money,, just struggling to get by.

We all know a Jenny.

One other time in my life I could help someone,, and I regret I didn't help a relative who suddenly lost his job more.
I could have,, could have made all their basic needs money problems vanish for the cost of my bar tab alone.

Anyway,, give, lend or nothing to Jenny?

This is a touchy, passionate subject for most I know,, but Jenny is a warm hearted super girl.
I'll let the forum decide.

I'll give her the answer or a check at noon tomorrow.


Edited by Trailer Park Casanova on May 11 2006,7:55 pm


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Fragile MagicMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: May 10 2006,6:21 pm Post # 2 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

What we have done on several occasions is to just pay some of her bills anonymously. Its just like giving them the money, but there is no "I owe you money and feel bad I can't pay you back" vibe. We have prepaid mortgage/rent payments, left gift cards to food stores in their mailboxes, cleaned up yards while they were at work, painted and repaired homes even when they are there...."House party....and YOU WON!!...Now lets get some pizza!"

I personally have seen the look of unbridled grace on peoples faces, and not knowing who has helped them has a profound effect on them, and on me for helping with out regard for "getback".

There's sumthin' in the bible too about giving anonymously too, so we got that going for us...... :D  :good  :good




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Post Icon Posted: May 10 2006,9:52 pm Post # 3 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

If you have it to loan/give...do it.

Knowing from personal experience, it's hard to ask for a helping hand, so I'm sure she really needs it, or she wouldn't have asked.

Having said that, once you give it to her, don't expect to get it back, if you do great. Too many good frendships have been ruined over a few bucks.

Good luck, I'm sure you'll do the right thing.


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Post Icon Posted: May 10 2006,10:39 pm Post # 4 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

I'd like to offer my advice here but it's always different depending on who your dealing with.  You'll make the right choice Ross, you seem to have a knack for doing that.

Fragile Magic has some good ideas to help without giving her cash.


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Post Icon Posted: May 11 2006,12:00 am Post # 5 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Quote (Fragile Magic @ May 10 2006,6:21 pm)
What we have done on several occasions is to just pay some of her bills anonymously. Its just like giving them the money, but there is no "I owe you money and feel bad I can't pay you back" vibe. We have prepaid mortgage/rent payments, left gift cards to food stores in their mailboxes, cleaned up yards while they were at work, painted and repaired homes even when they are there...."House party....and YOU WON!!...Now lets get some pizza!"

I personally have seen the look of unbridled grace on peoples faces, and not knowing who has helped them has a profound effect on them, and on me for helping with out regard for "getback".

There's sumthin' in the bible too about giving anonymously too, so we got that going for us...... :D  :good  :good

oh my god!  :good  What a wonderful family you are...
That is the sweetest thing I have heard in a while.
Alot more people should be like you... :)


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HAVE A PHENOMENAL DAY!

 
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Post Icon Posted: May 11 2006,5:18 am Post # 6 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

I've done like FM, paid bills, fixed stuff, watched kids (not at my place), to help them out of their situation.
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Post Icon Posted: May 11 2006,6:20 am Post # 7 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

I have done it more times then I can count sometimes I get repaid other times I don't. Either way if you have the money I would do what you can. One other piece of advice... If your wife says no you may not want to start a war in the house by doing it. At that point I would tell her that you just don't have that much money at this time.


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Post Icon Posted: May 11 2006,6:21 am Post # 8 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

I agree with FM, been down that road before!.. :good
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Post Icon Posted: May 11 2006,7:10 am Post # 9 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

I will never forget when I was a kid my Dad was in an accident that basically ruined his physical condition for the fest of his life. He was unable to work for several months and the bills piled up. Anonymously the rent was paid and food was left on the doorstep many times. I have always tried to help friends when I can without expecting to be paid back. This lady sounds like she is a great person, so if there is something I can do let me know. Maybe we can all get together and pitch in for the cause.


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Post Icon Posted: May 11 2006,9:16 am Post # 10 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

If you are in a position to help. Help.

I've had people stay in my home "Until they get back on their feet" many times.

As Robin Williams once said,"I'm a Homo.....sapien. I love people." Some need more love and guidance than others. :D


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Post Icon Posted: May 11 2006,9:32 am Post # 11 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

You know, I was reading this thread again this morning and it reminded me of the family Stacy, aka RiverDiva, aka Mrs River Dave, was helping.    

Hotboat (the version most of us remember) came together and really helped them out.  I had lunch with RD a little while after the drive started and when he opened the back of his truck up, it was FULL of food and stuff for the family.

I thought of giving cash but ended up donating a TV that he could use, sell whatever and we still have boxes of cloths for his kids waiting to go.  I dunno, but helping them in that way is a lot more gratifying that just saying heres a couple hundred bucks.  


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Post Icon Posted: May 11 2006,4:17 pm Post # 12 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Tough Call!! I'm sure that you'll make the best decision for all!!


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Post Icon Posted: May 11 2006,10:39 pm Post # 13 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Quote (RVRGIRL @ May 11 2006,12:00 am)
Quote (Fragile Magic @ May 10 2006,6:21 pm)
What we have done on several occasions is to just pay some of her bills anonymously. Its just like giving them the money, but there is no "I owe you money and feel bad I can't pay you back" vibe. We have prepaid mortgage/rent payments, left gift cards to food stores in their mailboxes, cleaned up yards while they were at work, painted and repaired homes even when they are there...."House party....and YOU WON!!...Now lets get some pizza!"

I personally have seen the look of unbridled grace on peoples faces, and not knowing who has helped them has a profound effect on them, and on me for helping with out regard for "getback".

There's sumthin' in the bible too about giving anonymously too, so we got that going for us...... :D  :good  :good

oh my god!  :good  What a wonderful family you are...
That is the sweetest thing I have heard in a while.
Alot more people should be like you... :)

:)  Thanks RVRGIRL........... :cool

I have learned to do it this way....

Not saying this is the case here AT ALL, but i used to give cash to a cousin and a niece....turns out they were buying drugs with the money so I decided to prepay for the essentials directly and deny the cash. Cost me their friendship for a while, but when the niece found out it was me doing the good samaritan thing, she was so thankful that I did not give her cash. The mere fact that someone was taking the time to care enough to go above and beyond gave her worth in her own eyes, and enough of it to get help and straighten herself out.

The cousin? She died of a drug overdose, but her mortgage was paid, she had food in the fridge, and she did not buy those drugs with our money. That's the only solace I can find in an otherwise tragic situation. I only wish I had "seen it coming".............. =(




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Post Icon Posted: May 11 2006,10:40 pm Post # 14 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

How'd it go TPC???




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Post Icon Posted: May 11 2006,10:47 pm Post # 15 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Quote (weldwade @ May 11 2006,7:10 am)
This lady sounds like she is a great person, so if there is something I can do let me know. Maybe we can all get together and pitch in for the cause.

Let me know if you plan something.......Just give me another reason to get to the river!! I would love to meet y'all and what better cause??

Seriously, I would be glad to help out in any way possible!

Hey if we all give 10 bucks, how much can that hurt?? :jumpie




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Post Icon Posted: May 11 2006,11:19 pm Post # 16 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Alot of wonderful-caring-giving people on the boards...


I'M ALL ABOUT THE PINK

HAVE A PHENOMENAL DAY!

 
Thats "MRS" RVRGIRL 2 you.....
"When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt."
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Post Icon Posted: May 13 2006,3:24 pm Post # 17 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Yes There Are!! :good  :jumpie


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Fragile MagicMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: May 13 2006,3:38 pm Post # 18 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply

Oh TPC..............Inquiring minds want to know!!! :confused  :confused




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