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GlassManMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: May 23 2006,8:39 am Post # 1 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
You may have seen this before......I though it was funny.....

     
     It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one:
a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs.
     
     
     After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
     
     The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
     
     Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
     
     Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P);  and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
     
     By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
     
     ----------------------------------------------------------------------
     
     P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
     S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
     
     P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
     S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

     P: Something loose in cockpit.
     S: Something tightened in cockpit.

     P: Dead bugs on windshield.
     S: Live bugs on back-order.
     
     P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
     S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

     P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
     S: Evidence removed.
     
     P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
     S: DME volume set to more believable level.
     
     P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
     S: That's what they're for.
     
     P: IFF inoperative.
     S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
     
     P: Suspected crack in windshield.
     S: Suspect you're right.
     
     P: Number 3 engine missing.
     S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
     
     P: Aircraft handles funny.
     S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be  serious.
           
     P: Target radar hums.
     S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
     
     P: Mouse in cockpit.
     S: Cat installed.
           
     P: Noise coming from under instrument panel Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
     S: Took hammer away from midget.

       :laugh  :laugh

It's a fact of Life:

After Monday and Tuesday, even the Calendar says : WTF .......
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Post Icon Posted: May 23 2006,10:54 am Post # 2 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
:rotflmao That's funny :D

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Post Icon Posted: May 23 2006,2:07 pm Post # 3 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
:rotflmao  :rotflmao  :good  :beer
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Post Icon Posted: May 23 2006,2:49 pm Post # 4 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
I've seen that before, but it's still funny!! :laugh  :D

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freddogMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: May 25 2006,12:29 am Post # 5 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (Carrera Elite @ May 23 2006,2:49 pm)
I've seen that before, but it's still funny!! :laugh  :D

Same here, but I still laughed my ass off...again

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GoFastRacerMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: May 25 2006,5:43 am Post # 6 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Yep, still funny!.. :good  :laugh
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Post Icon Posted: May 25 2006,8:36 am Post # 7 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Saw a piece on the news where John Travolta flys for Quantas.

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Post Icon Posted: May 25 2006,1:44 pm Post # 8 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (Trailer Park Casanova @ May 25 2006,8:36 am)
Saw a piece on the news where John Travolta flys for Quantas.

Old battle field earth Johnny's 707 (actually it's a 720) belonged to Quantas.  He's sort of has become an ambassador of sorts for the airline.

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freddogMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: May 26 2006,12:52 am Post # 9 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (Trailer Park Casanova @ May 25 2006,8:36 am)
Saw a piece on the news where John Travolta flys for Quantas.

How would you like to look up towards the cockpit and see him as your captain, looking like he did in Pulp Fiction.

Carbon Monoxide poisoning kills boaters.  Take the time to learn about it and how to avoid it.
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Post Icon Posted: May 26 2006,8:52 am Post # 10 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
:eek "Is there another flight that I can take, please"......  :D

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