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RVRGIRL
Taurus
HDF Supporter
Poopsie Bubble Buns
 
Lake Havasu City, AZ
Posts: 2,220
APPD 0.27
Post Rank: 29
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Posted: May 31 2006,6:50 pm |
Post # 1 |
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just got this in an e-mail and thought it was hilarious!
From a book called Disorder in the American Courts, includes statements
people supposedly had said in court and taken down and published by court
reporters who had the torment and stamina to stay calm while these exchanges
were actually taking place.......
.=================================
=============.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_
AT
TORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_
ATTO
RNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
_
ATT
ORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_
ATT
ORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
ATTOR
NEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
___
ATTO
RNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.    
 Thats "MRS" RVRGIRL 2 you..... "When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt."
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shueman
Libra
HDF Gold Supporter
Born To Drive...
 
Alta Loma CA
Posts: 17,228
APPD 2.15
Post Rank: 4
NADA
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Posted: May 31 2006,8:29 pm |
Post # 3 |
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Grads of Off-Shore Law Academy, no doubt....
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GoFastRacer
HDF Supporter
V-Driver For Life!
Big River, Ca
Posts: 63,133
APPD 7.58
Post Rank: 1
Spectra20
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Posted: June 01 2006,6:01 am |
Post # 5 |
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Good ones!.. 
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Carrera Elite
Libra
HDF Supporter
Glendale,AZ
Posts: 44,127
APPD 5.24
Post Rank: 2
1990 Carrera 23.5 Classic
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Posted: June 01 2006,7:59 am |
Post # 7 |
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The scene is the darkest jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through the jungle when the one in the rear suddenly reaches out with his tongue and licks the butt of the one in front. The lead tiger turns and says, "Hey, cut it out, alright." The other tiger says sorry and they continue on their way.
After about five minutes the rear tiger suddenly repeats his action. The front tiger turns angrily and says," I said don't do that again!" The rear tiger says "sorry" again and they continue.
After about another five minutes, the rear tiger repeats his action. The front tiger turns and says, "What is it with you, anyway? I said to stop." The rear tiger says, "I really am sorry but I just ate a lawyer and I'm just trying to get the taste out of my mouth."
Sarcasim, Just one more thing that I offer for free!! I've Reached The Age Where Happy Hour Is A Nap!! WWW.StormPokerRuns.Com  |
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12-24-2025 Three Word Post.....The Next Generation.... (Rep.#20,034) from: GoFastRacer
