Mandelon
Hot Boater
San Diego
Posts: 342
APPD 0.04
Post Rank: 74
Laveycraft 21 XtSki 496HO
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Posted: July 11 2006,5:58 pm |
Post # 1 |
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> A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th
birthday. She spends $5,000
> and feels pretty good about the results. On her way
home, she stops at a
> newsstand, to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she
says to the clerk, "I
> hope you don't mind my asking but how old do you
think I am?"
>
> "About 32," is the reply.
>
> "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
>
> A little while later, she goes into McDonald's and
asks the counter girl the
> very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about
29."
>
> The woman replies, "Nope I'm 50."
>
> Now she's feeling really good about herself. She
stops in a drug store on
> her way down the street. She goes up to the counter
to get some mints and
> asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk
respond s, "Oh, I'd say
> 30."
>
> Again, she proudly responds, "I am 50 but thank
you."
>
> While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an
old man waiting next to
> her the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and
my eye sight is going,
> although, when I was young, there was a sure way to
tell how old a woman
> was. It sounds very forward but it requires you to
let me put my hands
> under your bra.
> Then and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old
you are."
>
> They wait in silence on the empty street until
curiosity gets the best of
> her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go
ahead."
>
> He slips both of his hands under her blouse and
begins to feel around very
> slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each
breast. He gently pinches
> each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs
them against each
> other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says,
"Okay, okay. How old
> am I?"
>
> He completes one last squeeze of her breasts,
removes his hands and says,
> "Madam, you are 50."
>
> Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was
incredible. How could you
> tell?"
>
> The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"
>
> "I promise I won't," she says.
>
> "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Insane in the Membrane
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