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WifeyFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: July 21 2006,10:45 am Post # 1 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

     So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

     "Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

     "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered.  I'm going to have a beer."

     The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?"  She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries:  Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

     The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... You know... they have frozen glasses... "

     He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?"  She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

     The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back.  I promise. OK?"

     "You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?"  She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.

     "But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

     "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?  
LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT !   SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR !   THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"

and...they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story? --
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weldwadeMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: July 21 2006,10:50 am Post # 2 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
:eek Well okay then :rolleyes  :rotflmao

Keep your GUNS!

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LASINCMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: July 21 2006,10:53 am Post # 3 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
They always said that marriage changes a woman and not the man.  :bebe   :laugh
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WifeyFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: July 21 2006,11:01 am Post # 4 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
LOL...When I was reading it I was thinking to myself...HEY LADY you're setting yourself up for a mistake...who wants to have to 'get their man a beer' 'cook tasty treats' & have frozen mugs at the ready...I'd send my man to the bar for all that! LOL  :rotflmao
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Post Icon Posted: July 21 2006,11:01 am Post # 5 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Oh crap, now I can't figure out if I'm Coochy Coo, Puppy Face, or Poochie Pooh! :banghead

It's a fact of Life:

After Monday and Tuesday, even the Calendar says : WTF .......
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WifeyFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: July 21 2006,11:02 am Post # 6 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (GlassMan @ July 21 2006,11:01 am)
Oh crap, now I can't figure out if I'm Coochy Coo, Puppy Face, or Poochie Pooh! :banghead

How about coochy puppy poo!  :D  :rotflmao
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LASINCMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: July 21 2006,11:06 am Post # 7 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Better yet.......just go to the bar and think about which name you would like to be called.
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GlassManMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: July 21 2006,11:25 am Post # 8 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (LASINC @ July 21 2006,11:06 am)
Better yet.......just go to the bar and think about which name you would like to be called.

.....hmmm, might end up being called "the deceased". :laugh

It's a fact of Life:

After Monday and Tuesday, even the Calendar says : WTF .......
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Post Icon Posted: July 21 2006,11:28 am Post # 9 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Sounds like a typical women to me.   ;)
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Post Icon Posted: July 21 2006,6:13 pm Post # 10 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (Wifey @ July 21 2006,10:45 am)
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?  
LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT !   SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR !   THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"

I thought I was the only guy who ever heard that. :rotflmao
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Post Icon Posted: July 21 2006,11:50 pm Post # 11 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
well, it sounds like she was nice about it.......  :eek  :rolleyes  :laugh  :D

Sarcasim, Just one more thing that I offer for free!!
I've Reached The Age Where Happy Hour Is A Nap!!

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Post Icon Posted: July 22 2006,5:55 am Post # 12 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Could have been worse!.. :laugh
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Post Icon Posted: July 23 2006,12:08 pm Post # 13 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (Wifey @ July 21 2006,11:01 am)
LOL...When I was reading it I was thinking to myself...HEY LADY you're setting yourself up for a mistake...who wants to have to 'get their man a beer' 'cook tasty treats' & have frozen mugs at the ready...I'd send my man to the bar for all that! LOL  :rotflmao

:beer here, here I agree 100%  :rotflmao  :p
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WifeyFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: July 23 2006,12:13 pm Post # 14 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (Irmanator @ July 23 2006,12:08 pm)
Quote (Wifey @ July 21 2006,11:01 am)
LOL...When I was reading it I was thinking to myself...HEY LADY you're setting yourself up for a mistake...who wants to have to 'get their man a beer' 'cook tasty treats' & have frozen mugs at the ready...I'd send my man to the bar for all that! LOL  :rotflmao

:beer here, here I agree 100%  :rotflmao  :p

Amen  :good  :D
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Post Icon Posted: July 23 2006,12:26 pm Post # 15 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Why notify anyone you're going to the bar?????  Just go!   :D

A Cheap Thrill.......Is Still A Thrill !!
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Post Icon Posted: July 25 2006,1:38 pm Post # 16 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Those Horse Duvers will come in handy soon...Football season is coming.....I'd stay home so long as the TV remote is in my hand, get some cold beer and maybe a lap dance on the recliner for good measure. :bebe  :D

Ain't life Grand? Treat it that way.
The Love of my Life, Jan.
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Post Icon Posted: July 25 2006,2:02 pm Post # 17 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Not nearly as good as this fable...

Once apon a time a guy asked his girlfriend to marry him..

"No" she said.

And he lived happily ever after, spending his time boating, drinking beer, hanging out with his buddies at the bar and having a good time... :D :D :D

A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his.
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familytiesMale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: July 26 2006,9:16 pm Post # 18 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
:good I spent most of my money on Beer  :beer  :beer and Women :love  :love  The rest I just plain wasted

So Cal Old Crew

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However a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
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My Man's Sportin' WoodFemale Offline
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Post Icon Posted: July 27 2006,8:41 am Post # 19 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (Irmanator @ July 23 2006,12:08 pm)
Quote (Wifey @ July 21 2006,11:01 am)
LOL...When I was reading it I was thinking to myself...HEY LADY you're setting yourself up for a mistake...who wants to have to 'get their man a beer' 'cook tasty treats' & have frozen mugs at the ready...I'd send my man to the bar for all that! LOL  :rotflmao

:beer here, here I agree 100%  :rotflmao  :p

We have a consensus.  :good
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Post Icon Posted: July 27 2006,8:45 am Post # 20 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (My Man's Sportin' Wood @ July 27 2006,8:41 am)
Quote (Irmanator @ July 23 2006,12:08 pm)
Quote (Wifey @ July 21 2006,11:01 am)
LOL...When I was reading it I was thinking to myself...HEY LADY you're setting yourself up for a mistake...who wants to have to 'get their man a beer' 'cook tasty treats' & have frozen mugs at the ready...I'd send my man to the bar for all that! LOL  :rotflmao

:beer here, here I agree 100%  :rotflmao  :p

We have a consensus.  :good

I'm calling BS, You send me to the Garage for that! :D

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Post Icon Posted: July 27 2006,8:56 am Post # 21 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
When I got married it was like that.    :beat   She isn't around anymore.

Now Charlaine sends me out to the bar when she see's I need out.   :beer  :good   Funny thing is, I don't wanna go as often as I used to.  

Next time she says something, I am going to recite what Ziggy posted.  Lap Dance, a beer and the remote.  :good  :laugh
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Post Icon Posted: July 27 2006,10:13 am Post # 22 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (Forensic @ July 27 2006,8:56 am)
When I got married it was like that.    :beat   She isn't around anymore.

Now Charlaine sends me out to the bar when she see's I need out.   :beer  :good   Funny thing is, I don't wanna go as often as I used to.  

Next time she says something, I am going to recite what Ziggy posted.  Lap Dance, a beer and the remote.  :good  :laugh

Now we have a consensus!

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Post Icon Posted: July 27 2006,2:04 pm Post # 23 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
I've never been married, so I don't really know anything about that part of it.....  :laugh  :D , but I have been living with the same G/F for about 12 years now....... If I asked for a beer I would probably get it....If I told her to get me a beer, I would probably get it right upside the head......  :laugh  :laugh

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I've Reached The Age Where Happy Hour Is A Nap!!

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Post Icon Posted: July 27 2006,2:54 pm Post # 24 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
Quote (Carrera Elite @ July 27 2006,2:04 pm)
I've never been married, so I don't really know anything about that part of it.....  :laugh  :D , but I have been living with the same G/F for about 12 years now....... If I asked for a beer I would probably get it....If I told her to get me a beer, I would probably get it right upside the head......  :laugh  :laugh

:rotflmao Thats sounds right :rotflmao

Never Trust Anyone That Talks Too Fast.... They are hoping you miss something!
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Post Icon Posted: July 27 2006,3:47 pm Post # 25 see this member send this member a private message  quote this post in reply
At least she has a sense of humor about it....most of the time..... :laugh  :D

Sarcasim, Just one more thing that I offer for free!!
I've Reached The Age Where Happy Hour Is A Nap!!

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